We interviewed Pleasure Expert, Jessica Parker, founder of Ebony & Ivory, Pleasure Island Parties and Lady Liquid Love, to get a deeper insight into the power of sensual massage as a key tool to enhance your intimacy. The SENS massage stones can be used sensually on yourself or your partner, and Jessica explains why this is important.
Hey Jessica, could you tell us what the benefits of sensual massage are?
Normally in an erotic situation there is more pressure to perform, to think about someone else. Or you’re thinking about timing or how you look, so you’re more in your head. So when you can learn to receive pleasure passively, by way of sensual massage, without having the added pressure, you can understand your own body at a deeper level without having to do anything or please anyone.
This helps for when you do share your body with someone. When you know what you like, what works for you, you’ll be coming from a much more tangible reference point.
It also helps you to let go into a deeper emotional space, when you can just focus on your breathing, you notice different sensations around your body in the massage that you wouldn’t perhaps be aware of, or focus on. As an example, maybe massaging your foot sensually might not be something that’s occurred to you, but once you’ve it done to you it can open up a whole world of new possibilities and new pleasure pathways that you may not have previously wanted to explore.
What are some of the sensual ways you can relieve muscle tension?
When I give a sensual massage with my partner D through Ebony and Ivory, we always get the client to focus on some deep breathing techniques. The importance of breathing throughout the massage can help you let go, it can help let your muscles and thoughts let go. It can help your body release and not hold onto anything. Most prominently we hold our shoulders around our ears and our jaw is clenched. So when we allow our bodies to soften through breathing, it becomes more receptive to sensual touch.
When a sensual massage occurs and during genital touch, we specifically focus on pelvic floor breathing. Draw sensations from your pelvis or erogenous zones up along with your inhale and moving that around the rest of your body with your exhale. It’s a kind of visual meditative state to get into. Spread your arousal, your sexual energy through moving your awareness to sensations around the body.
Your breath and the massage are tools for that erotic expansion. The breath helps you expand at a deeper level, helping you to receive sensations, combined with sensual touch across the body can also lead to full body orgasms.
Deep pressure massage, particularly around the pelvis, glutes and thighs, can increase blood flow, engorgement, lubrication and much more sensation in the genitals. Ensure the pelvis is totally relaxed after some deep belly breathing.
Could you tell us a little about the erogenous zones?
Erogenous zones are the erotic areas in the body. I usually describe the erogenous zones as a junction, a concentration of nerve endings, particularly found in joints, such as between the fingers, toes, and quite obviously the groin. An erogenous zone is basically a condensed area where there’s a lot going on. This is because there are a lot of blood vessels and a lot of capacity for sensory receptors to actually feel. So erogenous zones are these hot points all over the body.
Some people find certain erogenous zones more pleasurable than others. For example, behind the ears might be too intense for some to the touch. Others may not have much nipple sensations. This is why having different ideas for where our other erogenous zones is essential from person to person. Behind the calf or maybe in the inner elbow might be your hotpoint.
Be creative and curious, and explore your body to help you discover new erogenous zones that aren’t necessarily the obvious known points.
How does sensual self-massage work and do you have any tips?
Self massage can be a little bit like tickling yourself, sometimes it feels so much better when someone else does it. So here’s a few points to set you off with.
Set an intention. Think about how you would like a lover to massage or touch you, and do that. This gives you a different mindset as opposed to being a bit blasé.
Touch yourself mindfully, thoughtfully, erotically, slowly, firmly. These can help you give yourself quality touch.
One way to start a good sensual self-massage practice, is doing what you already do. Have a shower, and instead of just washing yourself with soap and shampoo, put it on yourself the most erotic way possible, super sensually and consensually. Think about how you would want a lover to put it on you. Even slowing down can be a great way of bringing more awareness and sensuality in your own self massage touch.
Another way may be putting on moisturiser sensually. As it’s getting warmer, even putting on sunscreen sexually. Slow down, notice the textures, sensations and smells. How lubricious, or oily is it? Notice the texture of your skin as you rub it in to yourself. These are great ways to start incorporating self and sensual massage into your everyday without having to create a separate time when you do it.
How can you create different sensations in massage?
Some creatively different ways to incorporate touch can simply be by using your fingernails, interchanged with the palm of the hands, or even try massaging your legs with your own feet!
Use different paces and pressures. Slow or fast, or even stillness. Slow helps you focus on an area. Fast touch can create energy, warmth, heat. Varying pressures such as a light tingly feathery touch brings the nerve endings to the surface for a softer experience. Alternatively, more firm touch can help relax muscle tension and create more blood flow, so you get more heat and encourage deeper relaxation.
Thank you for chatting with us, Jessica!